Everything described below really happened this morning…within 10 minutes.
- Instead of sitting at the counter, taking his pills, M is lying on the floor, bench pressing the stool above his head. It has a back on it and the metal piece holding it together is right above his nose. A vision of the stool crashing into his face flashes through my mind – I suggest he get up before he drops it, but he keeps on going (although he does shift the stool down, so if it falls, the back of the chair will now hit him in the centre of his chest). When he gets up, he flexes his arms and says to me, “That felt good, I feel like I could bench press a Buick.” (even on a good day, M weighs less than 55 lbs.) I am reaching into the fridge, trying not to laugh.
- By the time I get back to the counter, M is standing a few feet away on a hot air vent. He tells me the air is going up one pant leg and down the next. I ask him 3x to come back to the counter and finish taking his pills and get ready for school.
- I go back to the fridge and suddenly an elastic band comes whizzing by my head. M grabs another one from somewhere on the counter and gets ready to fling it again – I tell him there will be consequences if he lets it go…
- Having finally taken his pills, M goes upstairs to brush his teeth. When he comes back down, he pulls 3 juggling balls from his pants and throws them into his knapsack. I suggest that his teachers may not appreciate him taking his balls to school. Much hilarity on his part as he is pulling on his coat as Mommy has said “balls.”
He is out the door at 7:59 (school starts at 8 am)…I am still laughing.