Thankfully, February is half over

Efecto spillover 4

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We still have 14 days to go before we can put February behind us. M is struggling. but so far keeping his head above water.  He continues to deal with repercussions of the incident last week, when he used a racial slur during a moment of anger.  This is causing his anxiety to spike which has a spillover effect at school.  

The boys that M insulted last week are not speaking to him. We warned him last week that this might happen, but it is hard for him to accept. Although he has a great deal of difficulty letting go of things when he’s on the receiving end, he’s having trouble understanding why these kids are having trouble “getting over” what happened.  He gets upset when I remind him why they might still be angry with him.

One one of the kids M yelled at is rallying other children to gang up on him at daycare. They are cutting him out of games. Yesterday, someone pushed him down from behind, which really upset him. These kids have been together in the program for years and they know M has a temper. Plus they know how to get him going. And when he reacts, it can be spectacular.

His dad and I have told him that if the meanness and ostracizing continue, we will address it with the staff at the daycare. They know M well and do their best to help him, but it is a big program with lots of kids. The counsellors can’t be everywhere at once.  M often tries to deal with a conflict himself, rather than seeking out help. 

The truth is that there isn’t much we can say to him to help make the situation any easier. Telling him that he has made his bed and now has to lie in it isn’t helpful. But I can’t tell him that this will blow over and the boys won’t be made at him  next week. If I was in their shoes, I wouldn’t be talking to him either.

All I can do is continue to tell him I love him and give him as much affection as he can tolerate. I can help him focus on his positive accomplishments.

Only 14 days left in the month. March can’t come soon enough.


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