19 years

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English: Woodward family wedding, 1911 William...

English: Woodward family wedding, 1911 William Henry John Woodward married Clara Emily Woodward at Armstrong Creek, Dayborough, 1911. (Description supplied with photograph). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is our wedding anniversary. Nineteen years ago on a sunny Saturday afternoon, surrounded by family and friends, Mr. Magic and I got married in his parent’s backyard. it was a low-key affair – my mother made my dress, my brother catered the lunch and his mother-in-law (also a friend of mine), made the wedding cake (carrot cake – my favourite!) which my mother decorated with fresh flowers. It was a lovely afternoon.

If you had asked me back on September 10, 1994, if I thought I would still be married, 19 years later, I probably would have been a bit dubious. Not because i didn’t love my husband, but because most of the married people I knew were separated or divorced, at least once. My parents split up after 21 years. Most of my close friends had similar experiences. A number of my cousins had married young and had already re-married before I even contemplated getting married at all. My parents-in-law were about the only couple I knew who had been together for more than 25 years.  At the time of my own wedding, I didn’t see marriage as a long-term proposition.

Looking back now, I can hardly believe that much time has gone by. In that 19 years, we have moved cities and jobs, bought a house and had M. We’ve attended the weddings of family members and close friends and shared lots of milestones – births, deaths, and even a few divorces.  In the last couple of years, my cousin’s kids have started to get married and have children of their own. Mr. Magic and I have supported each other through some difficult times, including unemployment, depression and family disagreements. We`ve also experienced incredible moments of joy, not the least of which were the moment we found out we were expecting M and the day he was born. We`ve had lots of moments in between too. Some days are a struggle – we both work full-time and while we love M to the nth degree, he`s not an easy child. As Mr. Magic said to me recently, “some nights, after supper`s done and the kitchen is cleaned up and M`s in bed, there`s not a lot left over.“ I expect that sometimes, both of us are just coasting.

One thing I`ve learned over the last few years, is that life is unpredictable. Things change, often without notice. Living in the moment isn`t always easy but if we don`t, we may miss the small victories and events that give our lives meaning and texture. Like watching M learn to drive a motor boat, playing cards together or walking to the ice cream store or the local Saturday morning market.

So today, I`m counting my blessings. I`m married to a wonderful man who is incredibly loyal and protective of his family. He’s smart, well-read and has a good sense of humour (a highly under-rated ingredient of a long-term relationship and parenthood). So what if his favorite TV show is Top Gear?  Since my secret vice is cheesy romance novels, I`m not one to cast too many stones. Mr. Magic buys my favourite potato chips and spends most of his holidays at my family cottage. He loves me even when I don`t love myself.

I used to think that nineteen years was a long time to be to be with the same person. Now I know it`s not nearly long enough.

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3 responses »

  1. Another great post! I must confess I got a bit emotional reading this. My Mr. Stitch and I got back to Ontario over the summer and he is now far away, in Maine, doing another year of school while I stay in the city and work. I miss him terribly, and one of the reasons I love him so much is that, like your Mr. Magic, he also loves me even when I don’t love myself.

    To my mind, knowing you’ve got a good thing is the only way to fully enjoy and appreciate it. You are lucky to know that you have a good thing going with your Mr. Magic, even if it’s not always easy.

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